It's Never About What It's About: What We Learned About Living While Waiting to Die - Softcover

Kraus, Krandall; Borja, Paul

3.74

23 ratings by Goodreads

9781555835712: It's Never About What It's About: What We Learned About Living While Waiting to Die

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1555835716 ISBN 13: 9781555835712

Publisher: Alyson Books, 2000

View all copies of this ISBN edition:

Why doesn't the person I'm dating make me happy? Why can't I get my body to look the way I want it? Why does my job seem so unimportant? Why do I dwell on what I don't have, rather than my accomplishments? Why is it that nothing ends up being the way I think it should be? These were the kinds of questions the authors were asking until both were diagnosed with HIV infection and they began a speeded up search for answers that made sense. With time running out, they turned inward for answers, and by asking the right questions, they discovered what they were looking for. At a time when they might have been more traumatized, more depressed, and less satisfied with their lives, they discovered a paradox: They were living better than ever with less stress, less emotional trauma, more tranquility, more friends, an abundance of material things, and-- most important--a growing understanding of who they were. Determined not to forget what they learned, they began to write things down, and this book is the result. Sometimes funny, sometimes poignant, the authors discuss the simple insights and practical skills they developed for connecting the frustrating "outer world" we confront daily with the transformative "inner world" of heart, mind, and soul where we live our

"synopsis" may belong to another edition of this title.

Review:

It's Never About What It's About is among the first books to deal with the strange predicament of people with AIDS who had braced themselves for death and now, thanks to protease inhibitors, are staying alive instead. True, the book is addressed to those with a serious condition and still facing early death, but underlying the advice on how to live at the edge and to accept yourself, finally, is an assumption that there's some breathing space. Death is no longer imminent. Here is a chance, say the authors, to "do the work of looking inside yourself." The insights that Krandall Kraus and Paul Borja, both HIV-positive, bring to this curious time of life are informed by Eastern philosophy, Jungian psychology, Campbell's studies of myth, and the classically American experience of therapy. Kraus, for example, explains how he tries to heal past injuries by comforting his inner child, the overweight and pimply 13-year-old Krandall Kraus.

These New Age homilies may be annoying to some, but bitter illumination can be found in the personal histories examined here. In one instance, Kraus recalls his distant and punishing father, who leafed through his son's second book, noting the dedication to himself, and pointed at the bookcase on the wall: "When you have enough of these to fill that bookcase," he said, "then you'll be a writer." Although especially relevant for people with AIDS and their caregivers, this book will help anyone with a serious illness organize their thoughts and gain clarity about what really matters to them. --Regina Marler

About the Author:

Paul Borja is an artist and spiritual seeker. He was raised on Guam and briefly studied for the Roman Catholic priesthood before turning to Eastern spirituality. As a painter, yogi, and bonsai gardener, he lives a quiet, contemplative life and is developing and participating in a support group for men living with AIDS in San Francisco. This is his first collaboration on a work of nonfiction. Krandall Kraus is the author of four novels: The President's Son (1985), Bardo (1999), a work of literary fiction, and Love After Death (forthcoming), a romantic mystery. He is also the author of the nonfiction work How to Get a Federal Job (1995), a step-by-step manual for successfully applying for a position with the federal government. Besides being a college professor for eight years, he has worked at the White House, Library of Congress, San Francisco and Alameda counties' AIDS offices, and he sat for five years on the California Ryan White Working Group, where he founded the Jiminy Cricket Caucus of People with HIV Disease to advise on state AIDS policies.

"About this title" may belong to another edition of this title.