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I hate Thomas Trofimuk.
I’m sure this sounds a tad extreme, especially since I’ve never met the man. Mr. Trofimuk could very well be a perfectly charming individual--kind to animals and small children--but I don’t care. I hate him in the small-hearted way that only writers (and perhaps actors) hate another: with a mixture of jealousy and miserable respect, hidden behind giant fake smiles. For the record, I should clarify that I don’t hate all writers, only those who produce books like Waiting for Columbus, which is exactly the worst kind of novel: fantastic, and written by someone other than me.
There are three reasons, specifically, that Columbus causes pain in my soul. First, because I wish I’d written it. Second, because I fear that Trofimuk has stolen all the good words. Third, because he tricked me. You see, normally I dissect novels rather than actually read them; I pull out the story’s entrails and comb through them inch-by-intestinal-inch, because anything I learn, I can steal. But Trofimuk made me forget my larcenous ways, and forced me to rush headlong through his story, reading it simply for pleasure. I’m a writer, goddamn it; I don’t do anything for pleasure!
If you give him the chance, prospective reader, Trofimuk will use his sorcery on you, too. He’ll steal precious hours from your life, which could be used for riding horses or volunteering for charity. He’ll make you ignore your family, and possibly even forget to feed your children. Worst of all, he’ll set you up with all these little details that you think are simply nice touches in the story, but are actually landmines planted in your subconscious, waiting to explode with pathos and beauty when you least expect it.
So go ahead. Let Trofimuk steal your time and explode your head. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you. --Andrew Davidson
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Book Description paperback. Condition: New. Language: ENG. Seller Inventory # 9780330471985
Book Description Paperback. Condition: new. Paperback. A Richard and Judy Book Club selection.He appears out of the sea, washed up naked, in the treacherous Straits of Gibraltar. Seemingly delirious, and claiming to be Christopher Columbus, he is taken to an insane asylum in Seville, where astonishingly he starts to reveal the true story of how he set sail on behalf of the Spanish queen five hundred years ago. Consuela, a nurse at the Institute, is charged with helping him back to reality. She listens to his fantastic tales in the hope of discovering the truth. But as his story unfolds, she finds herself falling for her patient no longer able to tell where truth ends and fantasy begins. Meanwhile, across the continent, Emile Germain is involved in a different search. He's an Interpol officer on the hunt for a missing person, presumed dangerous. He's a determined man, and when his investigation leads to Spain these two stories collide. Part romance, part mysterious thriller, Waiting for Columbus by Thomas Trofimuk is a rich and emotional novel about love, loss, and the fragile beauty of our own life stories. In contemporary Spain, a man arrives at an insane asylum in Seville claiming to be the legendary navigator Christopher Columbus. Who he really is, and the events that lead him to break with reality, lie at the centre of this page-turning novel. Shipping may be from multiple locations in the US or from the UK, depending on stock availability. Seller Inventory # 9780330471985
Book Description Paperback / softback. Condition: New. New copy - Usually dispatched within 4 working days. In contemporary Spain, a man arrives at an insane asylum in Seville claiming to be the legendary navigator Christopher Columbus. Who he really is, and the events that lead him to break with reality, lie at the centre of this page-turning novel. Seller Inventory # B9780330471985
Book Description Condition: New. Buy with confidence! Book is in new, never-used condition. Seller Inventory # bk0330471988xvz189zvxnew
Book Description Soft Cover. Condition: new. Seller Inventory # 9780330471985
Book Description Paperback. Condition: Brand New. 416 pages. 7.99x4.92x1.22 inches. In Stock. Seller Inventory # zk0330471988
Book Description Condition: New. New! This book is in the same immaculate condition as when it was published. Seller Inventory # 353-0330471988-new
Book Description Soft cover. Condition: New. No Jacket. 1st Edition. Published In 2010 : 1st. New UK Paperback Edition : Picador Books : Very Small Amount Of Faint Face Rubbing : Otherwise , As New Throughout : Overall , A Very Nice Book : Seller Inventory # 22 - 11378
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Book Description PAP. Condition: New. New Book. Shipped from UK. Established seller since 2000. Seller Inventory # AR-9780330471985